She's not okay.

Posted on Saturday, 27 May 2017 | COMMENT

I want to believe that i have such a healthy mind. So positive nothing can drag my mind down.

I am lying. I dont know how to put this into words.

I am shaking, i am trembling.

My mind went blank.

My legs went weak.

My heart is racing.

My hand is sweating.

I cant sleep, at all. 

I have lost control of my own body.

I am crying yet i wanted to scream.

I screamed but nothing came out of my mouth.

I cried hard. I covered my body with my blanket, set aside myself in the corner of my bed, hugging my knees. It was painful.

I wasnt hurt physically. I dont know what's happening.

I thought all those happy moments i have, that i keep in my memories were good enough. But then all i can think of is how i brushed of all those anger and sadness just like that. I wasnt actually brushing it off, i actually holding it in. Is this what anxiety feels like? Like you want the feelings to go away because it hurt you so bad you're so helpless?

Then i found something i can use, and it worked.

God help the girl ❤