Jealousy won't bring you anywhere

Posted on Saturday, 1 April 2017 | COMMENT

"Fatin, how can you be so cool in front of those people? Were you not scared?"

"Naz, go ask the teachers, you're their fav"

Some people would stoop so low in using my name. Behind my back. Without me knowing. That hurt me. A lot.

I could go on being selfish and not let anyone used me in any way possible. I used to think that people are too stupid. You give them something they want today and they'll be Pharaoh by tomorrow. Such a disgrace to my very own eyes. I see people changes from kind to heartless and somehow I can relate. Losing yourself because everyone was not what they said they were.

But I don't do changes. I took things differently. Where there's a wall, you hit them straight. Using your heart and brain.

Heart and brain.

I used to wonder is it a bad thing to have such high confidence in you? It's a good thing. If you think I overshadowed you, then speak up. Improve yourself so you're up to my standards. No, I am not degrading you. Surely not. Don't you know how hard it is for me to build a wall then broke it then build it again then broke just so I know that it does not matter at all? Just so that the wall I build got doors for myself?

Yet, you didn't know that until today, I still can't let anyone open that door even when they ring my doorbell. I value myself that much to be offended by anything and anyone. That is my confidence 🌸